Close-up on Grieving...
About every hour or so I have to turn my back on it. This just might be the most challenging painting I have done in the abstract genre. There is a lot going on. I know my end game will include simplifying areas with some neutral opaques. I can think about 2 steps out from where I am and then it is somewhat murky. But, then, grieving is murky, too. Because each step points you in a certain direction, you never have complete control of where this baby is leading you. As I said, every hour or so I have to sit down and turn my back on it because I can't "see" it anymore. Then I finally turn around, grab my coffee and stare at it for quite awhile, looking for my next steps. It is a somewhat painstaking process, but I am into it. Today, that is. Yesterday? Thought it wasn't going to work. Step away from the painting! is the voice I heard at the end of the day yesterday. I had an idea of the next color I wanted to introduce. When I shut the light off last night I allowed my mind to envision that addition and trusted my brain would work on it overnight. This morning I woke up with some confidence. I prepared the palette and found one place I wanted to add that new color. I liked it. Then I added it in another place and on it went. It really is one step at a time. If you just find a place to take that one step...the momentum will carry you. It might be a mistake, but there are usually alternate paths that can carry you beyond that moment. And sure, there are times when I definitely lose confidence, but I will not give up.